Today has been a great and wonderful day! To God be the glory. I will touch today on self esteem. Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way."
Self esteem has been a vice I have battled for as long as I can remember. It is how I look at myself, how I think others see me, and how God sees me. I didn't have confidence in myself as a child or as a woman and it is difficult to look yourself in the mirror and say you are beautiful when your face is full of acne, your hair is short and nappy, men only comment on your "coca cola bottle" shape, your friends laugh in front of your face, but talk about you behind your back, your husband abandons you for another woman. How does one get out of such rut when you have been beaten down emotionally, physically and mentally by the very people you love?
It is hard to look yourself in the mirror and see your beauty, see the beauty that God has created. For many, many years I had low self esteem-- I didn't see myself as beautiful, I didn't feel worthy, I looked for love in all the wrong places. I have been with the wrong crowd to fit in, I thought I was in love with a married man, and we had a relationship for several years; I was promiscuous,yes, I had several boyfriends. I had a foul mouth, yes, I could curse you out to no end. I have physical scars on my body to remind me everyday of that lifestyle that I used to live, but God is wonderful and He has redeemed me, He has forgiven me, He has given me new life and most of all, He has given me my self esteem.
It has taken me many, many years to fight this battle, but thank God I can say I have overcome that battle. I can now look myself in the mirror and see my beauty, see the beautiful image that God has made me. I can tell myself, "Girl, you are beautiful", girl, you are a diamond", "Sista girl, you are a Belizean beauty and God has wonderfully made you in His image". Yes, I truly and honestly believe that God has made me in His image. He has given me all the flaws and all the scars on my body because He knows that my flaws and scars are beautiful to Him.
I try to live that beauty everyday, I praise God for bringing me to this level to see that I am wonderfully made, inside and outside, in His image.
I was listening to one of Joel Osteen's sermons back in June of 2008, this is right after I was recoving from my thyroid cancer surgery. He was preaching about the need to create an encourgement file so that when you are down or when your self esteem is starting to go down hill, you pull out your file, dust off that file, and read that file over and over again. I can tell you, that's what I have been doing, that's what has been helping me. I have notes that people have written to me when I was in college, I have notes that my co-workers, and friends have given me; I even re-read my journal, but most of all I get in the Word. Friends, that's what we need to do, get in God's holy Word. We need to arm ourselves with the Word of God. The devil delights when he sees God's children in misery; the devil delights when we resort to our self-pity and we question God's authority as to why He made us the way He did. Oh, but the devil is a liar. We will prove him a liar because we will pull out our Bibles and read and read and read and we will get on our knees and ask God to remove that spirit of low self esteem.
Please let's continue to encourage ourselves regularly, write yourself some good letters, write God some letters of thanks and praise, but most importantly, let's get in the Word. Please read Psalm 139:14 and meditate upon those words.
Remember now, No weapons formed against us shall prosper. Be blessed.
Therese from Belize